So, I said I wanted to ring in the new year in bed, preferably asleep. Well, here I am, in bed, feeling a little sleepy, less than an hour left until midnight. I had planned on drinking a little pommery pop but my head kinda hurts and I doubt I'll be up long enough to finish the bottle (no, I'm not a lush, it's in one of those clever small bottles that all the kids are into). I have spent most of the day in bed reading trashy magazines and watching the Twilight Zone marathon on Sci Fi. I figure it's now safe to post this wrap up, I doubt anything of consequence will happen in the next 36 minutes (famous last words).

what a year. another year like this would probably kill me. Here's the month by month blow by blow. by me. I'm taking this from my journal and my memory. Mostly my journal. Or skip directly to What I've Learned.

January: Rang in the New Year wearing a shelf bra. Got my first kiss from the Drunk Who Broke My Heart. Made a new year's resolution to listen to at least one Prince song a day every day (which I broke a couple of months later). Experienced my first Victoria's Secret Semi-Annual Sale and now know why my sister makes a point to be there on the first day of the sale. Saw "Whad'ya Know?", mom was actually on the program briefly when Michael Feldman made his way into the audience (she made him laugh). Saw Ghostfinger for the first time. First Girls' Night at Molly's house with her delicious chili. FIrst realized how much it sucks to date a guy in the band.

February: Bought my first halter dress (still haven't worn it). Taught Molly how to knit at the Radio Cafe during a Ghostfinger show. Got a little more serious with the Drunk WBMH. Got my first Coach bag. Had my first really great Valentine's Day when the Drunk WBMH made me dinner in my home. Almost gave up on the Drunk WBMH but much encouragement from Katherine kept me from it. Paid my car off. Got back in touch with Jesi the Girl. Realized my potential hotness with a dress I wore exactly once. Had the "Maalox Moment" (yes, going to be that vague. ask me if you have to know, but bear in mind I probably won't tell you).

March: Someone at work took credit for a pretty big thing that I actually did (no public apology, but did get a nice card--whatever). Had my first oxygen bar experience. Ordered my laptop, which is a fantastic little thang. Saw the Black Diamond Heavies for the first time, they were amazing. Had a fun night out with the a fraction of the old Slacker crew (Rhonda, Laura, Jesse the Guy, David, Brandes, Andy, Andrew, Ben). got my first digital camera. Set up my fabulous wireless network. Saw meerkats at the zoo eat easter eggs. Bought my first strapless dress for Easter. saw Drakkar Sauna for the first time, again, amazing (I've got the show on CD). Met Richard Simmons thanks to Katherine and Molly!

April: Met Jolie Conner for the first time. What a sweetie pie! Had my first pedicure which was just not my thing. This is probably the month that my massive depression started. Saw Ghostfinger play the worst show ever. Got robbed at gunpoint near the Radio Cafe which was really, really awful. I was put on sleep aids and almost put on SSRIs but I resisted. Really started to fall in love with the Drunk WBMH due to how sweet he was after the robbery--bitch dumpster dove and drove and walked all over the place with me to get things in order! How can you not fall for a boy like that? Went to San Luis Obispo and visited Julie and the Herricks. It was really cool to see their town. Saw lots of cool stuff, but was most excited by Hearst Castle in San Simeon. Got my wallet stolen again while in Cali. Twice in one month!

May: Was finally able to stay at my house by myself after the robbery. Saw my cousin Kim kick some serious ass at the Special Olympics. My sister Lindsay turned 25. Realized once again how bad it sucks to date one of the guys in the band when the Drunk WBMH got propositioned WHILE I WAS INSIDE THE BAR. Started crocheting flip flops. I didn't write much in May.

June: Helped the Drunk WBMH with a video project--spent tons of time working on it and burning several copies for his family THAT HE PROMPTLY LOST THANK YOU VERY MUCH. Finally put up some stuff on my walls in this here condo. Once again went to Liberty Baptist for the Decoration Sunday Sacred Harp Singing Sunday. Had a HUGE scare when my newly replaced brakes failed on the interstate on the way home. Got my ipod. the Drunk WBMH met my parents officially for the first time (he met them in passing in 2004). Have had new boobies for six months at this point. Michael Jackson cleared on all charges. First admitted in my journal that I l**ed the Drunk WBMH and felt that he was the right boy for me (was I drinking too?). Saw MiniKiss, Panty Raid, and Denny Diamond for the first time which was an EXPERIENCE.

July: Met the Drunk WBMH's full immediate family for the first time. Brent officially became a PhD. Saw Brian for the first time in a while and met his wife and daughter for the first time (both are adorable). Katherine moved to Austin. Went to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory at the IMAX for mom's birthday. Relationship with the Drunk WBMH starting to fall apart. Saw Drakkar Sauna and once again realized how dang fantastic they are. Irish Picnic where dad won a cake.

August: Saw Ben Harper in concert which was fantastic. Went to a Chuck Klosterman book signing which killed any desire I had to make out with him. First discovered the Dog Park which is probably Denny's favorite place. Set the ball rolling for the breakup with the Drunk WBMH with my crazy antics. Saw Chris Isaak in concert once again.

September: Started seeing a therapist. Drunk WBMH and I broke up THEN he made me dinner. How's that for logic? Ran the hell off to Pigeon Forge to get my ducks in a row after the break up. Spent a lot of time crying and stuff. Started having Crafty Night at my house. Saw Pauly Shore in the Village.

October: Got to hang out with Brent once again. Went to Anaheim CA for the Macromedia MAX conference and some Disneyland fun. Saw GWAR in concert with a friend from high school. More crying.

November: ran into the Drunk WBMH who was passed out on the bar at a restaurant. Turned 30, hit rock bottom, started taking SSRIS (not in that order). Saw the Drunk WBMH with a girl and flipped my shit. Spent quality time with my cousin Sarah and her husband Todd. Went to Hot Springs with Molly and Katherine and had a heck of a drunken fun time. Things started looking up with the Hot Springs trip. Went roller skating for the first time since college. Speed Dated at the request of a friend.

December: Saw Brent officially get his PhD. Experienced a real live Minnesota winter. Had fun in Minneapolis. Met Brent's friends who are cool. Got a raise and promotion. I celebrated my one year anniversary with my new boobs. Went on a few dates with a seemingly nice guy, things looked like they were going great, and then contact just stopped, and I have my theories why. Found a suspicious mass in my dog's abdomen (fatty tumor, he'll be fine). Had a nasty car accident. Trapped in the Closet with Molly, Kat, Tucker, and Melissa. Spent some quality time with Brent. Had an excellent Christmas. Had a great time at Kate's holiday party. Went to Michelle and Greg's house for a NYE party and then came home and finished up this list.

What I've Learned

• Never trust anyone, never get comfortable, and never get too attached.
  
• I never realize how good I have it when I'm knee deep in my own self-loathing.
  
• Musicians really DO make bad boyfriends!
  
• I have some excellent friends.
  
• Be honest even if it hurts or may drive someone away. Especially if it will drive someone away, because if you aren't being honest with them, you aren't being honest with yourself. Damn, I should write greeting cards.
  
• Minneapolis is a cool city but too cold for me.
  
• The breast reduction is TOTALLY worth it. I've got nice boobs.
  
• I can't follow through on anything.
  
• I'm not cut out to date a musician or a drunk or a combination of the two.
  
• I need to love me before anyone else will.
  
• My dog is absolutely the best friend I have in this world.
  
• My sister's dog isn't so bad.
  
• My sister isn't so bad.
  
• I should always stay home for new year's.
  
• Boys are just as fickle as girls, and perhaps more so.