My ipod did it again...it wouldn't respond. I promise you I tried resetting it last time this happened but it didn't work. Well, this time it did. ROCK!

Is this a common problem? I have an ipod photo 60gb and I'll pause it, it'll sleep, but then it won't come on.

So, I'm driving home last night, missing the Boy Who Broke My Heart. Yes, we weren't compatible. As a friend pointed out he's probably to blame for my recent, crushing depression (I had everything in order before we started dating). But honestly, I miss him.

There's the hackneyed expression that it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. To that I say "bull crap." Right now I feel worse than I ever have in my life and it's all a result of allowing myself to love someone. You may want to take this moment to point out that I'm stronger and wiser, but I'd rather have independent but lonely, thank you. Do I regret meeting the Boy WBMH? Could be, the jury's still out. All I know is I feel worse now than I ever, EVER have in my whole life.

I don't understand how you can love someone but erase almost all traces of that person from your life within a matter of months. I mean, this is the boy who detailed his car for me. The boy who wouldn't let me drink his preferred brand of whiskey because it wasn't good enough for me. the boy who put my plastic meerkats on his amp when he played a show. The fact that I'm out of his life this fast makes me wonder if I ever mattered at all. If he ever loved me at all, or if that was just talk (drunken talk, probably).

And he's been too nice during this whole break up process. He tells me he wants to be friends, that he wants to hang out, that he cares about my well being. When it comes down to is he doesn't call when he says he will, he makes no effort to be a friend. If he had told me to fuck off it might be easier, but he never did. I thought we might be able to try again, but apparently that is no longer an option.

I realize it's a break up and that he owes me nothing, but he's made promises. It's turning out that all promises made before and after the breakup were just empty, probably just to give me hope and get me off his back.

The biggest mistake I've made was letting my guard down and loving someone. The second biggest mistake was loving a drunk and believing him when he told me he wanted me to help him stop.

Merry christmas from eneman!

Labels: pictures

This is how my patterns start out. If they're any good, I just may post them here. Of course, if you've got good eyes you can see much of the diamond pattern written out. I'm adapting the pattern I got with the recycled silk yarn. That purse is done, my mom is putting a lining in it. Once it is finished I will post pictures.

Labels: pictures

This is a LONG post, plus it's picture heavy so be patient and let them load. If you have dial up, get broadband!
NOT PICTURED: Dr Zaius, Roy/Brandon the gentleman, our scary yet thrilling hotel with the nonfunctioning shower, T-Rick's T-Rex, our fabulous waiter at Angel's.

Why does this mermaid have wings? Why does this fairy have mermaid fins? IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE!!!

Katherine likes the nutcracker

My Three Sins

Molly ties my shoe because I'm drunk

Lovely view

Labels: pictures

Got any rope, LLOYD?

I am not a pile of sore muscles today. My inner thighs hurt a little, but beyond that it's all good. I sweated my ASS off last night, though. I now understand why rollerskates and hot pants go hand in hand.

• Finished a book
  
• Designed TWO knitting patterns for purses
  
• Roller skated my ass off
  
• Listened to 7 podcasts
  
• Looked for the "Dead Man's Chest" teaser (unsuccessful!)
  
• Knitted a swatch for one of the two patterns I designed
  
• Burned my hand cutting ice cream cake (that's right)
  
• Subscribed to BUST Magazine (finally)
  
• ate Godiva chockys
  
• Created a myspace page for my new band
  
• Returned library books
  
• Set up a computer
  

What the hell did YOU do???

Tonight's crafty night was actually a roller skating party for Kate's friend Jamie. Hells yeah it was fun. I forgot how much I love roller skating. The Boy Who Broke My Heart was supposed to take me but, like many things, that fell through.
My muscles are going to be SO sore tomorrow, but it was worth it.

I read Chain Letter and fell in love with Mr. Pike (or Kevin McFadden if you prefer). I collected every single one of his books except for the kiddie series he did and the Alosha books. Mind you, I didn't read them all...I loved his thrillers but he got too sci fi/fantasy for me. I liked his supernatural stuff, but things took a turn I didn't care for. This book is the Christopher Pike I had an adolescent crush on.
I mean, seriously. I saw the Fall Into Darkness TV movie. I had the book on tape (read by Kelly Ripa!). Come into my house, you'll see the collection. You can't BORROW them, but you can read them while you're here. HEY, I'm possesive.
At any rate, I had kind of given up on Kev, but this book brought me back.

Labels: books

Fully customizable, for your pattern writing pleasure.

I've decided to funnel my frustration and broken-heartedness into knitting handbags. If it helped Kelley Deal kick heroin it can sure help me get over the recent unpleasantness. So, I've printed off some graph paper and will commence a-pattern writin' a little later this morning. It'll probably just be my standard diamond pattern adapted for a purse. Maybe a little bead or two?

I love British thriller writers. This book was funny and engaging and fantastic.

Labels: books

More details may come later, but here's a few quick highlights:

Dr Zaius!
Riding in the bed of a pickup truck driven by a stranger to a bar that reminded me SO MUCH of the Martin days. And Roy, who was a perfect gentleman.
The Park Hotel which was Shiningesque. We walked up to the 8th floor where they are renovating the rooftop bar. I walked to the seventh floor to look at the renovations taking place. We may have been the only folks in the hotel.

Labels: pictures

I ate no turkey today. Well, other than the incidental pieces that may have been in the dressing, but I did not seek out the turkey and eat it. However, I am still tired, so don't blame the turkey. I ate almost nothing to be honest with you, I think it's a side effect of the zoloft.
I'm at my cousin Sarah's house right now. I probably would've skipped the family festivities if it weren't for her presence in the family. It was also good to get to know her husband, Todd. They are fantastic.
We watched Batman Beyond. WOW. I hope they make 30 more Batman movies like this.

No trip to memphis is complete without a sighting of the bus in the trees by the buffalo river.

I am grinding my teeth again. I believe it started two nights ago. It's been a while since I last ground (grinded?) my teeth. What this means is I have a nagging headache and a sore neck. Last night the grinding was so bad it woke me up.

It's as though my body isn't my body, but different parts operated by different drivers. Sort of like Voltron, only with a large dose of the crazy.

Look what my sister gave me for my birthday:

Labels: pictures

We went to our neighborhood Dairy Queen because this year I really wanted a DQ cake. The sign outside was missing letters, but we didn't think anything of it, perhaps they'd ordered repairs or a new one? We walked in and noticed the window signs advertising gyros and other mediterranean foods. I picked out my cake (not easy, considering that none were marked and we didn't know what we were really buying, but were assured it had chocolate in it) and we paid, also buying a sundae which came with the red DQ spoon.
Here's the thing...the cake was off just a little bit. the ice cream doesn't seem to be your standard DQ soft serve. In fact, it seems like ice milk. Plus the receipt didn't say Dairy Queen, it said Dairy One I believe (hence the broken sign).
What does this mean? Nothing. Just needlessly bitching.

And thank GOD. I can't possibly handle another birthday like that. It would kill me. Literally.

Labels: pictures

I've got horrible vertigo today coupled with a headache. It's lovely. I'm in bed...just a minute ago I stumbled like a drunk to the bathroom and nearly fell over. So here I am with naught but a Project Runway marathon to entertain me. I love Austin Scarlett.

It was good. Reese didn't ruin it as I expected, and she did an ok job of singing like June. Joaquin can brood like no other in the business, so excellent choice (as I expected). The biggest news: Bozo's is in the movie. I repeat: BOZO'S BARBECUE IS IN THE MOVIE!!! The finest barbecue in the world.

I'm on my way to see "Walk The Line," my second most anticipated movie of this year (first was "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory"). Happy birthday to me!

The new Bachelor is a Vanderbilt University Medical Center ER resident. Ewww. I may have come into contact with this whore.

seriously, does it? does it ever freakin end? is this how things are forever? damn.

One of these days I'm going to get my granny to record some of her Louvin (born Loudermilk) Brothers stories. She grew up on the mountain with them, they used to get together and sing on the porch.

Labels: pictures

The ceiling at the El Capitan Theatre

The marquee at the El Capitan. Citizen Kane premiered here!

The Chinese Theatre

With mom outside the Chinese Theatre

Scientology!

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Denny got a bath!

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I just had my hair and brows did. My salon was voted my the Nashville Scene's readers as the best salon in Nashville. My hair professional, Mindy, was voted best wax artiste. You can see her wax handiwork (as well as her hair wizardry) in this picture.

Labels: pictures

It seems as though my young redneck thug neighbors now have a home theatre system. When I was convalescing from my stomach ache all I heard was the subwoofer.
Add the home theatre to the list of annoyances that include parking in my spot, throwing cigarette butts and beer cans in my walkway, loud late nights on the patio (which shares a wall with my bedroom), and visitors at every hour of the day.

lunch was way too much. six hours later i've still in that ate too much feeling. i can't even be bothered to go downstairs to blog properly.

Check out this video on ifilm (not safe for work unless you're wearing headphones. His language gets a little salty!)

hooray! but what's causing this? short version: I'll be listening, I'll pause it, store it somewhere, and when I come back to listen it's dead, completely non-responsive. After a few days it'll come back on with an almost dead battery. why why why? But at least it works. And I can listen to Wanda Wisdom's interview with Lady Bunny!

I've done nothing. NOTHING! And it's fabulous. I've not taken showers, I've watched bad TV, I've sat on my porch and knitted, and I'm going for a follow up with my plastic surgeon. OK, the last part isn't so much a fun thing to do on vacation, but it is the only time I could get an appointment before the holidays. I think I'm going to head to the Country Music Hall of Fame after, maybe the Frist. who knows? It's too cold for the zoo, that's for sure...a line of storms goose-stepped its way through the middle TN area last night (luckily I was working, so luckily I was not out in it) and of course, as these things happen, it's cold now.

All about the ending of a long friendship, this book reminded me of Teri. Of course, TEriand I just kind of drifted due to lifestyle differences, nothing quite so explosive as in this book.
The ending of a long friendship can be just as painful as the ending of a romantic relationship, this is the first book I've read to touch on this subject.
Highly recommended to anyone who no longer speaks to his or her best friend. The perfect book to read over the holidays.

Labels: books

Not as difficult to read as "Wicked." I assume the musical isn't too hard to follow? Maybe one day I'll see it. Anyway, I quite liked this book.

Labels: books

I would just like to point out that I totally figured out the ending BEFORE I read the spoiler.

We are lazy.

Labels: pictures

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! This is a piece of dog food in case you wondered.

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I get to see Miss R!!!!

Crafty Night at Kristen's. All crafty nights should involve red wine, even if little crafting actually gets done. The dog? That's Jose. If only Denny were so calm...

Labels: pictures

I suppose the empowered, happy feeling was not a result of the zoloft but from my own mind. See, because I'm feeling awful again. I don't know what it is...usually I can pull myself through these sorts of things, but not this time. I've NEVER had any trouble letting someone go before so I don't know what makes this time so different. Maybe it was how it ended? Perhaps I should focus on the drunkeness, the undependable--uh--ness, and the feeling of exclusion. Instead all I remember are the good times and how I felt several months ago when things are good. Is this normal? Why the hell can't I just move on?
At any rate, my ipod is broken again. Son of a bitch.

You know, this book should've been interesting to me, but it wasn't. I have red hair and i was completely bored by this. It would've made for an interesting article, but as a book it was just not enough.

I do like the idea that all red heads are connected genetically, and I'd like to know when the clubs are going to start meeting.

But this "gentlemen secretly prefer redheads" thing is a big ole pile of it. If that were true, I'd get a lot more attention from boys. Or maybe more accurately it's "gentlemen secretly prefer redheads if they've got a hot figure"? At any rate, I'm lonely.

Labels: books

I loved loved LOVED Stiff by this author, but this book just didn't impress me. I'm ok with the skepticism, but there was more of an edge to this one. Plus, I'm just about tired of reading about Spiritualism, but that's my own problem, not Roach's.

Labels: books

I was helping Molly with some ebay stuff (more on that later) and found some pictures I had forgotten about. More post-Gwar pictures, this one gives you a MUCH better idea of how I looked after. It really was a ton of fun, I wish I'd worn a white shirt like everyone else. Maybe next time. And maybe next time I won't be used as a human shield.

Labels: pictures

I don't know where the excitement over a week of begins and where the zoloft ends. They say that zoloft can take a couple of weeks to start working, but I'm in a much better mood right now. It must be the week off. I'm actually feeling positive for the first time time in ages. Wouldn't it suck if this is me getting through it on my own just as I've started an SSRI?

They cancelled Arrested Development.

WHY??????????????????

$120 a skein, threaded with swarovski crystals.

Labels: pictures

(side note: that's a phrase that makes me laugh until I cry and cry until I laugh at the same time, maybe one day I'll explain but it's a bit too fresh, and other parties are involved that might be embarassed. Well, not MIGHT be embarassed, WILL be embarassed. And by "embarassed" I mean "driven to a murderous fury by a certain redhead's cavalier attitude about sharing extremely personal information that could be really, really damaging even though said person might really deserve it.")
So, does the zoloft make one ill? I had my normal one egg, two bacon, one wheat toast breakfast, and at this time of day I'm usually all growly with hunger. I did have about 10 candy corn pieces but surely THAT can't be what's twisting my guts into knots?

So, last night we ate dinner at Buca. My mom and sister hadn't been so we reserved the table in the kitchen which was not as fun as one might think. Dinner was delicious, though. Lots of food.
Then this morning I strted taking zoloft, which I have mixed feelings about. Those of you who know me know that I am not crazy about SSRIs in most cases. Yes, they are beneficial, but--well, this is not an argument I want to get into right now. Let's take this offline, why don't we?
Anyway, I've always been able to get out of a depression on my own with pure will power, attitude, and moxie. That hasn't worked so far so a little over two months ago I made the very difficult decision to go see a mental health professional. Long story short I'm on an SSRI right now. I'm all about instant gratification and apparently this will take a little while to work. I'm in an ok mood today, but I suspect it has little to do with pharmaceuticals.
Hopefully I won't feel as lonely in a few weeks. Well, I will probably still feel lonely, but maybe it won't bother me as much.
I just think it will make me a differnt person and I don't care for that. i've seen people who take them and their personalities change. Sure, many find my personality repellent, but I don't want people to like fake Leah.

Article at DailyHelmsman.com

I love how he ended this, and more thriller authors should do this.

Labels: books

I don't know, really. Sometimes I'm all about electronically
documenting my day to day crap and today I want to completely close
meself off and avoid all social interaction. Some days I want to whip
out my credit card and buy a theremin. But let's move on.
Some times I think the effort of keeping this blog isn't worth the end
result...and believe me, there is little to no effort involved in
keeping this blog.
At any rate, maye I'll have lorikeet pictures later on.

Lindsay and I headed over to the zoo to claim our free prizes for buying memberships. It was a nice little backpack. We were pressed for time so we didn't do the grand tour but we did visit the new Lorikeet exhibit. We really enjoyed it. They sell little dishes of nectar to feed the lorikeets. We saw a lorikeet land on a woman's head several times, we assume he was after her shiny scrunchy. We did not purchase nectar, but that didn't stop one tenacious lorikeet from nibbling on my index finger. Cute.

...Ghostfinger really IS the finest rock n roll band in America.

It's the second to last in the Series of Unfortunate Events, so you know what that means.
Oh, so you don't. That's cool. It means that this is the book that's getting the loose ends all ready to be tied. I'm going to guess it's also the longest in the series (around 350 pages if I remember correctly). As a standalone it was not the greatest, but as the second to last in a series it was lovely. I love that the author is a big ole book nerd. Not just literature, but everything about books. It makes me want to go back and get a degree in Library Science, it does. And it also makes me want to quit my job and write but then, what doesn't? Even bacon does that.

Labels: books

Recommended by Ginger. Ok until the end, where it fell apart. The ending felt SO rushed, it really did. I'm still not sure I get all the double crossing and so forth. I mean, I love a good red herring but not one that's been sitting out so long that it's no longer recognizable as such and just looks like a big ole mess. There's a big difference between a twist ending from left field and pulling something out of your ass. If you tell me this is not one of Kellerman's best then fine, but never again.

Labels: books

I was at orientation the other day and a young man was wearing an odd t-shirt that none of us understood. It was blue, had a drawing of an angry snowman on the front and on the back said "Let's Get It." We just didn't understand, and one of our more maternal and gentle employees commented something to the effect of "Your shirt has an angry snowman on it." The kid just grunted agreement or something and moved on. So, now I know what it means:

DRUGS!!!!

Now, who the hell is Young Jeezy? And isn't Jay-Z the new CEO of Def Jam? Def Jam used to be so fantastic.

From the Daily Helmsman

Now, I must fight the urge to use the phrase "Electric Boogaloo"

You know what I want.
You know what I need.
Or maybe you don't.
Do I have to come right flat out and tell you everything?
Give me some money.
Because there's a Tilli Tomas trunk show at the Haus of Yarn next week and I desperately want a few skeins.
The Mariel's Crystals (silk with Swarovski crystals woven in) style is
around $120 a skein, but it comes in a color called Purple Reign so you
know I have to have it. Disco Lights, an acceptable substitute (silk
with sequins) is around $40/skein.
Hey, did I mention my birthday is coming soon?

So, how's this for accurate? Freaky. It came from one of those coin operated things at Disneyland.

Labels: pictures

So I get to work this mornign and have an email about a free Macromedia
Breeze trial. Lovely, just what I wanted for my birthday! But here's
the clincher: I have no time to use it. I'm still knee deep in our new
system, I'm working with someone else on a QA plan for this new system,
and in a week and a half I'll be on vacation and I'm sure as heck not
going to be using my valuable time off to play with computers (I've
become a bit of a luddite, and I'm sure I'm not the only computer type
person who has become one).

I don't have the love of Halloween that I used to. It used to be my
favorite holiday and I just loved it, but this year I just skipped it.
I did see a young boy in a teenage mutant ninja turtle costume and
offered him some candy at the desk where I was sitting, but beyond that
I just didn't get into it. Why? There's not much point. I'm too old
to trick or treat, I don't have a kid to take trick or treating, and I'm
too much of a curmudgeon to get invited to parties (although that's not
entirely true--I received mass invitations to two, but I had conflicts
for both). I live in a condo and have never had trick or treaters, but
even if I had I was at work and couldn't exactly be in two places at once.

Or maybe I'm just negative nancy these days. While I'm trying to
remember the positives of being single (one more--one less birthday/xmas
gift to stress about and then buy!), one huge negative is slapping me
right in the face: I am really missing the shows right now. Even though
I hated the in between sets part of the show, I miss the music itself.
So the moral here is don't date a musician who plays in bands you love.
If you must date a musician, make sure s/he plays in terrible bands.