So, I said I wanted to ring in the new year in bed, preferably asleep. Well, here I am, in bed, feeling a little sleepy, less than an hour left until midnight. I had planned on drinking a little pommery pop but my head kinda hurts and I doubt I'll be up long enough to finish the bottle (no, I'm not a lush, it's in one of those clever small bottles that all the kids are into). I have spent most of the day in bed reading trashy magazines and watching the Twilight Zone marathon on Sci Fi. I figure it's now safe to post this wrap up, I doubt anything of consequence will happen in the next 36 minutes (famous last words).

what a year. another year like this would probably kill me. Here's the month by month blow by blow. by me. I'm taking this from my journal and my memory. Mostly my journal. Or skip directly to What I've Learned.

January: Rang in the New Year wearing a shelf bra. Got my first kiss from the Drunk Who Broke My Heart. Made a new year's resolution to listen to at least one Prince song a day every day (which I broke a couple of months later). Experienced my first Victoria's Secret Semi-Annual Sale and now know why my sister makes a point to be there on the first day of the sale. Saw "Whad'ya Know?", mom was actually on the program briefly when Michael Feldman made his way into the audience (she made him laugh). Saw Ghostfinger for the first time. First Girls' Night at Molly's house with her delicious chili. FIrst realized how much it sucks to date a guy in the band.

February: Bought my first halter dress (still haven't worn it). Taught Molly how to knit at the Radio Cafe during a Ghostfinger show. Got a little more serious with the Drunk WBMH. Got my first Coach bag. Had my first really great Valentine's Day when the Drunk WBMH made me dinner in my home. Almost gave up on the Drunk WBMH but much encouragement from Katherine kept me from it. Paid my car off. Got back in touch with Jesi the Girl. Realized my potential hotness with a dress I wore exactly once. Had the "Maalox Moment" (yes, going to be that vague. ask me if you have to know, but bear in mind I probably won't tell you).

March: Someone at work took credit for a pretty big thing that I actually did (no public apology, but did get a nice card--whatever). Had my first oxygen bar experience. Ordered my laptop, which is a fantastic little thang. Saw the Black Diamond Heavies for the first time, they were amazing. Had a fun night out with the a fraction of the old Slacker crew (Rhonda, Laura, Jesse the Guy, David, Brandes, Andy, Andrew, Ben). got my first digital camera. Set up my fabulous wireless network. Saw meerkats at the zoo eat easter eggs. Bought my first strapless dress for Easter. saw Drakkar Sauna for the first time, again, amazing (I've got the show on CD). Met Richard Simmons thanks to Katherine and Molly!

April: Met Jolie Conner for the first time. What a sweetie pie! Had my first pedicure which was just not my thing. This is probably the month that my massive depression started. Saw Ghostfinger play the worst show ever. Got robbed at gunpoint near the Radio Cafe which was really, really awful. I was put on sleep aids and almost put on SSRIs but I resisted. Really started to fall in love with the Drunk WBMH due to how sweet he was after the robbery--bitch dumpster dove and drove and walked all over the place with me to get things in order! How can you not fall for a boy like that? Went to San Luis Obispo and visited Julie and the Herricks. It was really cool to see their town. Saw lots of cool stuff, but was most excited by Hearst Castle in San Simeon. Got my wallet stolen again while in Cali. Twice in one month!

May: Was finally able to stay at my house by myself after the robbery. Saw my cousin Kim kick some serious ass at the Special Olympics. My sister Lindsay turned 25. Realized once again how bad it sucks to date one of the guys in the band when the Drunk WBMH got propositioned WHILE I WAS INSIDE THE BAR. Started crocheting flip flops. I didn't write much in May.

June: Helped the Drunk WBMH with a video project--spent tons of time working on it and burning several copies for his family THAT HE PROMPTLY LOST THANK YOU VERY MUCH. Finally put up some stuff on my walls in this here condo. Once again went to Liberty Baptist for the Decoration Sunday Sacred Harp Singing Sunday. Had a HUGE scare when my newly replaced brakes failed on the interstate on the way home. Got my ipod. the Drunk WBMH met my parents officially for the first time (he met them in passing in 2004). Have had new boobies for six months at this point. Michael Jackson cleared on all charges. First admitted in my journal that I l**ed the Drunk WBMH and felt that he was the right boy for me (was I drinking too?). Saw MiniKiss, Panty Raid, and Denny Diamond for the first time which was an EXPERIENCE.

July: Met the Drunk WBMH's full immediate family for the first time. Brent officially became a PhD. Saw Brian for the first time in a while and met his wife and daughter for the first time (both are adorable). Katherine moved to Austin. Went to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory at the IMAX for mom's birthday. Relationship with the Drunk WBMH starting to fall apart. Saw Drakkar Sauna and once again realized how dang fantastic they are. Irish Picnic where dad won a cake.

August: Saw Ben Harper in concert which was fantastic. Went to a Chuck Klosterman book signing which killed any desire I had to make out with him. First discovered the Dog Park which is probably Denny's favorite place. Set the ball rolling for the breakup with the Drunk WBMH with my crazy antics. Saw Chris Isaak in concert once again.

September: Started seeing a therapist. Drunk WBMH and I broke up THEN he made me dinner. How's that for logic? Ran the hell off to Pigeon Forge to get my ducks in a row after the break up. Spent a lot of time crying and stuff. Started having Crafty Night at my house. Saw Pauly Shore in the Village.

October: Got to hang out with Brent once again. Went to Anaheim CA for the Macromedia MAX conference and some Disneyland fun. Saw GWAR in concert with a friend from high school. More crying.

November: ran into the Drunk WBMH who was passed out on the bar at a restaurant. Turned 30, hit rock bottom, started taking SSRIS (not in that order). Saw the Drunk WBMH with a girl and flipped my shit. Spent quality time with my cousin Sarah and her husband Todd. Went to Hot Springs with Molly and Katherine and had a heck of a drunken fun time. Things started looking up with the Hot Springs trip. Went roller skating for the first time since college. Speed Dated at the request of a friend.

December: Saw Brent officially get his PhD. Experienced a real live Minnesota winter. Had fun in Minneapolis. Met Brent's friends who are cool. Got a raise and promotion. I celebrated my one year anniversary with my new boobs. Went on a few dates with a seemingly nice guy, things looked like they were going great, and then contact just stopped, and I have my theories why. Found a suspicious mass in my dog's abdomen (fatty tumor, he'll be fine). Had a nasty car accident. Trapped in the Closet with Molly, Kat, Tucker, and Melissa. Spent some quality time with Brent. Had an excellent Christmas. Had a great time at Kate's holiday party. Went to Michelle and Greg's house for a NYE party and then came home and finished up this list.

What I've Learned

• Never trust anyone, never get comfortable, and never get too attached.
  
• I never realize how good I have it when I'm knee deep in my own self-loathing.
  
• Musicians really DO make bad boyfriends!
  
• I have some excellent friends.
  
• Be honest even if it hurts or may drive someone away. Especially if it will drive someone away, because if you aren't being honest with them, you aren't being honest with yourself. Damn, I should write greeting cards.
  
• Minneapolis is a cool city but too cold for me.
  
• The breast reduction is TOTALLY worth it. I've got nice boobs.
  
• I can't follow through on anything.
  
• I'm not cut out to date a musician or a drunk or a combination of the two.
  
• I need to love me before anyone else will.
  
• My dog is absolutely the best friend I have in this world.
  
• My sister's dog isn't so bad.
  
• My sister isn't so bad.
  
• I should always stay home for new year's.
  
• Boys are just as fickle as girls, and perhaps more so.
  

I usually clean them myself, but in case I am unable I will bring them here.

Labels: pictures

The cute forks Mike brought to Michelle and Greg's party.

Labels: pictures

In a few scant minutes I will head to M+G's to attend a new year's party. I will likely not stay until midnight, I would rather ring in the new year at home with my dog. This is no reflection on my friends, as they are very cool and I always have fun there. I will be kissing no one at midnight, there's only one person I want to kiss and he will be otherwise occupied.

Yes, I'm a total fool. I should really be over this by now but just when I think all is cool and I'm over it I miss him all over again. I guess it's the holidays.

Happy New Year in advance, I will post my year in review when the year is finally over.

5. My Name is Earl is moving to Thurdays which means I can watch House!

4. 2006 is the year of the dog, so if Denny has a good year then I'll have a good year.

3. I am quitting my second job at the end of January

2. I probably can't sink any lower, but it will be interesting to see if I can.

1. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest comes out in July

Today is my goddaughter Cagney's birthday. I didn't call. DANG. I feel like a heel. I got distracted by going to Kate's for the holiday party. Which...

Kate's party was fun. I took a little Sofia (which I'm getting used to, I mean, the packaging is too cute) but only drank one can at the beginning of the evening. I had lots of fun, met lots of cool people. It was good to meet Kate's boy, John. It's always cool to meet someone you've heard so much about.

Now I'm tired. I'm hoping to spend tomorrow mostly in bed reading the Tan book and US Weekly, only arising to take Denny out, make some sausage balls or cheese cookies, and to go to Michelle's for her New Year's soiree.

(note: I was not drunk when I typed this. the title will make sense in a minute.)

Today I went to a local record store with a co-worker where prominently diplayed were copies of the Drunk's band's CDs. My co-worker must've noticed the sad look on my face because she almost immediately said "Looks like they've got a lot of copies left." Fantastic. Nothing like a little sour grapes once in a while.

Even now, nearly four months since we've broken up, I still think about him and miss him. I've been tempted to call him, but I probably shouldn't. So either let me know why I shouldn't OR if I should. I'd like to be friends as we agreed back when we first split but every time I think about him I STILL get teary eyed, and oh my gosh if he's got a new girl I'll freak the HELL out. I will definitely need inpatient psychiatric care.

I've learned a lot more about boys in the last year and a half than I have in the first 29 or so. I'm putting a moratorium on boys for the forseeable future.

(see, I told you.)

5. First halter: Last December I had breast reduction surgery. I've never worn a halter ever ever ever before. It was everything I hoped it would be and more.

4. First Victoria's Secret Semi-Annual Sale: now I know why my sister makes a point to go every year. Wow. I mean, it's a clusterfuck and a whole lot of work but totally worth it.

3. First Minnesota Winter: And boy was it cold.

2. First time at Disneyland: A few serendipitous turns of events got me to Disneyland during the 50th. I had a hell of a time.

1. First antidepressants: still not sure how I feel about this. even agreeing was a huge compromise of everything.

It's the last day before a holiday weekend so we all know what that means. To enable me in my fatty pursuits there's a birthday cake across the hall.

Last night I bought the rest of the supplies I needed to make grog but I was way too tired by the time I got home. And lazy. I'm a terrible pirate.

The Golden Gophers are once again in town for the Music City Bowl. I should put out a hot dish.

I love reading, and I don't care how dorky that sounds. I also like NPR, so suck it, y'all. Right now I'm reading Saving Fish from Drowning by Amy Tan and it is FABULOUS. I sheepishly admit that I've never read anything by Tan before, but I have seen a movie-ization and she can flat tell a story like nobody's business.

Anyway, in a scant few hours my holiday weekend will officially begin. I've got a weekend full of social events on my calendar, so it should be good times. I'll be rockin out and, when not rockin out, sleeping.

Labels: pictures

I sent my mom an email this morning to tell her that Kris Kristofferson was coming to the Ryman. We are all Kristofferson fans in our family (I was in my late teens when I found out that soemone other than Kris sang "Me and Bobby McGee"). Her reply:

of course, I've also seen Kris Kristofferson in concert. At that time, however, he was stumbling drunk and leaning on his wife, Rita Coolidge. Ah, the good old days.

Rock.

I'm no drinker, but I do like a good adult drink. Here are the top 5 alcoholic beverages I consumed in 2005:

5. Yuengling Light, consumed at the Trapped in the Closet party, provided by Tucker. She brought this from Virginia, and apparently you can't find it in TN. Dug it. Dug it lots.
4. Kentuckytini, consumed at Jitters in Minneapolis. Sure, Jack Daniels comes from Tennessee, but we won't hold that against them. I believe it was lemonade and Jack with a sugar rim. There may have been more to it, but I was too distracted by Dixie Cups.
3. Gimlet, straight up, my mom's office Christmas party. I have a new favorite gin drink. meeow.
2. Mimosas, consumed at Fiesta Azteca, recommended by Demoyne because I can't drink a margarita. The dinner was nice, the conversation was sparkling, the mimosas were deeeelicious.
1. The Purple Rain Martini, consumed at Kazu. I like this one mainly for the name and then the color. You can't drink too many of them because it's kind of sweet, but a couple are fantastic. My sister says they taste like some cough medicine we used when we were kids, but her memory is so much better than mine.

So, about a month ago I find that 2/3 of my watch batteries are dead. I stop wearing a watch. Things have been fantastic ever since. and since shortly before Christmas Day I've been in a fantastic mood. Is it the Gleemonex? Is it me finally getting out of my funk? Only my hairdresser knows for sure.

In addition I'm carless so I'm not driving, which kind of adds to the irresponsiblity, although not really by my choosing. Having a car isn't so bad. If worse comes to worse, I'm close to the bus line so I can always take the bus anywhere. Or I can cocoon at home which is a lot of fun, you know.

Let's be honest here: no one can write about obscure religious figures quite like Neil Gaiman. I could be wrong, but I'm going to assume I'm right.

Love his storytelling abilities.

Labels: books

I'm going to list unique shows. If I listed the top five they'd all be Ghostfinger, the Carter Administration, or Ole Mossy Face. Here are the top five shows that I attended in 2005.

5. Ben Harper acoustic at the Ryman. He played FOREVER. We left about two and a half to three hours into the show and I understand he continued to play for at least thirty minutes more. My mom even enjoyed it. This is what concerts should b--I think the tickets were in the $30 range and he played for 3+ hours.

4. Hands Down Eugene, some band I don't remember the name of, The Carter Administration at the Family Wash. Part of it was because I was drunk. Part of it was because I was still deliriously happy with the Drunk WBMH. Most of it was the line of folks waiting for the bathroom singing along to Air Guitar Force One with fists apumpin'.

3. Panty Raid, MiniKiss, and Denny Diamond in the Mercy Lounge parking lot. I love burlesque so Panty Raid was really cool. I love Denny Diamond because he really does a fantastic show and can really, REALLY sing a heck of a lot like Neil Diamond. MiniKiss--well, it was good in concept, not so much execution.

2. Drakkar Sauna in Matt and Mandy's living room. I had no idea what to expect and was absolutely blown away. Brandes had the foresight to record this show, so thanks Brandes!

1. Ghostfinger record release party at the Basement. I do love this band. I really, really do. With one exception, ANY Ghostfinger show I saw this year could be in this show's place. I wanted to put their performance at the east side showcase at The End because it was great (Richie in his undies rappin) but I was so sick from allergies that I just couldn't fully enjoy the whole show.

Josh Levin examines "Lazy Sunday."

If you missed it, be sure to check it out. I had already decided Andy Samberg is my favorite new cast member, and Chris Parnell is from Tennessee.

The first of the top ten lists to wrap up 2005. Here are my favorite pictures of 2005. I did not take all of them, but I do like them.

5. Trying on one of my old bras for fun. Taken by Laura on my camera phone in January 2005

4. I love this picture because it makes me look like such a lush, which I am not. Taken in December 2005 by Brent

3. A nun playing basketball at the Irish Picnic. Taken by me on my camera phone in May 2005

2. The Neptune Pool at Hearst Castle. Taken by me in April, 2005

1. Denny and Flash. Taken by my sister, Summer 2005.

Labels: pictures

It should come as no surprise that I always wanted to go to boarding school. Of course, this was not really feasible. Prep was all right, but JUST all right. It wasn't really engaging, to be honest. It was a very light read, with no real conflict until close to the end. They built up to it as the book went along, but it was kind of too little too late.

Labels: books

I seem to be getting a cold. Plus, my muscles keep twitching which is weird. Anyway, I made a stop at the liquor store. I got some dark rum so I can make a stab at the grog recipe that came with the pirate mugs. I also got some gin because I like gin.

Tomorrow I start posting my top fives for the year. on January 1 comes the big year in review. Get ready, whores!

Wow, who knew a book about Rubirosa could be so dang boring. I guess that's my fault, though, as I had very little interest in the political climate of the Dominican Republic at that time.

Labels: books

So here's a little Christmas story to tide you over for a little bit. Starting tomorrow I'll be posting my top fives or tens (depending on how wordy I feel at the time).

I recently came precariously close to being played. I have some pretty big issues with trust so my boy deflector shields are always on. Luckily I'm a stuck up prude so the playing did not play out, so to speak.

See, I met this guy recently who seemed pretty nice. No names, now. I'm forthcoming enough to blog about it but not to name the offender. We went out a few times, and he was very complimentary, very nice, and I had a good time getting to know this guy (which is a big step, as I am barely out of a pretty intense relationship). However, it seems that (and this is just my guess, if you're reading this feel free to give me a proper explanation) once he found that I don't put out when I've only known someone a couple of weeks the attention, compliments, etc stopped. I won't say that all contact stopped because that's not the case, but the tone, everything shifted literally overnight. So bizarre.

Guys, here's the deal. Yes I have a low self opinion, yes I'm lonely, but it takes a lot more than a few sweet words to get the all access pass, so to speak. And this is why I have trust issues...I don't know if I can believe a word this guy said when I was being wooed, or if it was all said to gain access to the Forbidden City.

A lot of nice guys I've met say that girls only want the bad boys, and maybe there's a lick of truth to that, but guys are just the same.

UPDATE: I heard from the guy. My assumption may have been wrong. My brain works funny sometimes. At any rate, I'm staying away from boys for a while.

It's been a good Christmas so far. I got some clothes, Golden Girls and Kids in the Hall DVDS, pirate mugs and matching coasters (complete with a recipe for grog and pirate history!), pajamas, Sedaris tickets, the stitch and bitch knitters journal, some assorted candy n stuff. One of the coolest things I got was a Hurricane Poster Project poster--I picked it out ages ago and emailed the link to mom. I picked it out because it looks like a hatch show print kind of. I didn't see the small print, but that kind of makes it cooler (in case you can't read it, it's Kanye West's quote from the Katrina telethon).

from angi. Merry Christmas, I can't sleep, so here's a bunch of stuff about me:


> Welcome to the 2005 edition of getting to know your friends. What you
> are supposed to do is copy (not forward) this entire e-mail and paste
> it
> onto a new e-mail that you'll send. Change all the answers so they
> apply
> to you, and then send this to a whole bunch of people including the
> person who sent it to you. The theory is that you will learn a lot of
> little things about your friends, if you did not know them already.
>
> 1. What time did you get up this morning?around 9:30
> 2. Diamonds or pearls? diamonds
> 3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
> 4. What is your favorite TV shows? Arrested Development, My Name is Earl, Project Runway
> 5. What do you usually have for breakfast? one egg, one piece of bacon, a piece of wheat toast, and a cup of milk
> 6. What is your favorite cuisine? home cooking
> 7. What is your middle name? Parke
> 8. What food do you dislike? mushrooms, tomatoes
> 9. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Drakkar Sauna, Drakkansasauna
> 10. What kind of car do you drive? whichever car I'm borrowing since mine is in the shop
> 11. Favorite sandwich? french dip or maybe a cheesesteak.
> 12. What characteristic do you despise? dishonesty
> 13. Favorite item of clothing? jeans and a tshirt
> 14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would it
> be? I want to see it all, so, anywhere if you're paying
> 15. What color is your bathroom? mostly white with some ugly walpaper
> 16. Favorite brand of clothing? whatever's comfortable
> 17. Where would you retire to? somewhere I'm well taken care of
> 18. What was your most memorable birthday? probably my 28th. It was hoboriffic.
> 19. Favorite sport to watch? hockey is fun
> 20. Furthest place you are sending this? you tell me. I'm posting this on my blog
> 21. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? posting it on my blog, so I don't expect a reply really.
> Person you expect to send it back first?see above
> 24. When is your birthday? Nov 20
> 25. Are you a morning person or a night person? becoming more of a night person
> 26. What is your shoe size? 7 and a half
> 27. Pets: denny the dog.
> 28. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? I got my christmas tree up.
> 29. What did you want to be when you were little? act
> 30. How are you today? at my wits end.
> 31. What is your favorite candy? frangos
> 32. What is your favorite flower? whatever looks pretty in my house
> 33. What is a date on the calendar you are looking forward to? Jan 1 because it will mean this year is finally OVER.
> 34. Are you married? hell to the no.
> 35. Do you enjoy your job? it has its moments.

scroll down a little.

	Yeah, we both have a LEETLE grudge against the University. Oh, and I can't really pee standing up. So we wanted to start at the Red Door West because I've never been to the one on the west side and I wanted to see if I could get Brent to check out the skeletons in the floor. We couldn't find it for some crazy reason so we went to Jackson's instead. We originally intended to go to Kazu but it was closed. Thanks for the notice, Kaz!
	Public art abounds in the village! We tried to drink at Bosco's but no one wanted to serve us, so we did decide to go to the Red Door West which we found. I wanted Brent to try Yazoo Pale.
	Your sound effect for this picture: "ah ha ha ha ha ha." They didn't have Yazoo Pale at Red Door West, so he settled for a Stella. Well, not so much settled, more like insisted. We sat at the lady tables.
	A lady always lifts her pinky when double fisting mixed drinks and beer. The Red Door West seems pretty cool. We did not check out the skeletons, though. I've been told differing reasons why they're there: One of the employees at the RDEast told me it's because the building used to be a funeral home Someone who asked someone at the RDWest said it's so guys can check out girls from the front or the back, depending on preference.
	We finally get the Yazoo Pale at the Broadway Brewhouse! Only Brent's the dd so he just had a sip, but he seemed to appreciate it. We had queso and chips at the Brewhouse we talked about boys.
	We wrapped up the evening at Cafe Coco. The spinach dip there is AMAZING. I wanted to marry it, but settled for letting it get to second. Then Brent drove me home, picked up a few Frangos, and went back to the ancestral manse. We kind of wanted to drink mini bottles of champagne and watch Margaret Cho: Assassin but we're getting too old for that shit so we settled for calling it a night.

Labels: pictures

I've noticed that lots of folks with a web presence are using this time to beg for gifts from their readers/listeners/etc. Not to be outdone, here's my list. If you enjoy the hard hitting blogging you get here at schmoovenet.com, please dig deep and make this a merry christmas!

I want:

• To see the episode of Designing Women where they go to New Orleans and Suzanne goes head to head with the drag queen.
  
• Tea with Austin Scarlett
  
• A good poop
  
• Wireless internet at my second job
  
• world peace
  
• Brutal honesty from boys
  
• 2005 to be over
  
• a phd in pop culture
  
• drinks with Teri B.
  
• to eat whatever I want without gaining weight
  
• To have today and tomorrow off at my second job
  
• local availablity of frangos
  
• all my friends in the same place for an hour
  
• every episode of mtv's true life on DVD
  

at myheritage.com you can load a picture and see which celebrity it matches. The results are fun.

Brent and me

Not quite...

I should grow a beard

I don't even know anymore

aussies

Some matches I won't post: The Drunk WBMH=Kurt Cobain while I=Christopher Reeve. Me=Alanis Morisette.

Brent is on the web.

Labels: pictures

So, last night was the big "Trapped in the Closet" marathon. As Kat says, I can't believe it really exists. Thanks to Chris for letting us ladies use his apartment. Thanks to Molly for the chili. Thanks to Kat for bringing the DVD. Thanks to Tucker for the Yuengling. Good times.

So, here's the deal.

bonk on the noggin, possible light concussion, take antiinflammatories twice a day for a week. someone's got to stay with me tonight, mom has offered to stay (this speaks volumes on my popularity), although she misses the whole point of needing to have someone stay with me--she's getting here after I go to sleep and leaving before I wake up. don't know about the damage on the car just yet. pain will be worse tomorrow, may get muscle relaxers later on.

but the wreck did make me reevaluate a few things. number one I'm quitting my second job as of the end of january. it's just taking too much of my time and I'm so tired all the time. I'm also kind of sick of it all, you know? after the wreck I kind of got the urge to pack my swiss army suitcase and take the next bus out of town to wherever it's going.

I'm not sure I even want to keep this blog. I was kind of keeping it for myself, but narcissistic enough to put it where anyone can read it. Then I justified by using it as a place for my friends to catch up with what I'm doing, but judging by the logs the people who read it generally talk to me on a weekly, if not daily, basis. There are some that I can't figure out, so drop me an email why don't ya? I may take a day or two off of this thing, but we all know I'll come back, and it'll probably be tomorrow.

at any rate, happy holidays bitches.

so, I seem to be ok other than a bump on my head. seeing the MD later anyway just in case. don't know what it'll cost to fix the car, don't know how long I'll be without it. doesn't matter...I probably don't need to leave the house anyway.
whatever. anyone wnat to buy my condo?

Labels: pictures

Car accident. More later.

When I first started reading it I thought that it would be one of those books that's regarded as a classic due to it's timeliness but would be considered dated. However, *insert discussion about universal themes here*. Good book.

Labels: books

I was on the phone with the vet's office and had my hands free headset on (I've got neck issues). I'm reaching for a piece of paper in my metal desk and BAM get a static shock to my ear. When I felt the shock my phone went dead and I lost the call. Oh, phone is working fine but my head hurts just a little bit.

It's going to be one of those days, I can feel it. I didn't sleep well last night, and on top of that I'm worried about my dog, it's cold, and there's other stuff I won't get into at this moment because it's not really important.

The good news is I had some stick together spaghetti last night and there's plenty left over for me to eat. I've still got ice cream cake too, so, rock.

This morning Wanda Wisdom talked about being Gifted. One of these days I will post my Gifted class stories, but not right now, I'm distracted. I should google my former Gifted teacher...

Denny has a mass in his belly. I noticed it last night when i was trying to help him on the bed. Before Crafty Night I had my mom check it too, so I'm not just being a paranoid dog mom here. Going to call the vet tomorrow.

I love this dog. He's been one of the few constants in my life. Can you imagine how much more insane I would've been if I hadn't had him around?

I almost adopted his brother. His brother was more playful and fun but Denny was sweeter. Someone had a hold on his brother (who looked like Snoopy) so I adopted Denny instead. When took him home he weighed four pounds. I tried to keep him in a box on the ride home but he kept crawling out of the box and onto my shoulder (this is funny, as Denny is now pushing 60 lbs). I later found out he was so sweet because he had gotten his shots the day I got him.

Now he's a cuddly little monster and I don't know what I'd do without him. Let's all hope that everything's ok.

My purse is done

Labels: pictures

Sure, Denny was able to keep up with the younger dogs at the dog park, but he was definitely paying for it last night. He had a hard time getting up the stairs (I helped him halfway, he slowly made it up the rest of the way). When he did make it upstairs he was unable to jump up on the bed. I tried to help him but he made it pretty clear he didn't want help. He eventually headed back downstairs (no problems downstairs, only up them) and later in the night I heard him whining in his sleep. It's very hard to see him getting older.

Since it was sunny and slightly warmer than it has been I packed Denny in the car, picked up little Flashy, and headed to the dog park. We had tons of fun, but it was difficult to keep up with both dogs. Flash would get himself separated from Denny and then run after some random largish brown dog thinking it was Denny. Then he'd realize it wasn't Denny, then he'd repeat until he either found Denny or me.

It was fun to see Denny run around like he was a puppy. He kept up with the rest of them and pretty much had to be dragged away after he and Flash tried to pick a fight with a bulldog.

Yes, there will be a Road House 2 next year.

Last night was Ginger's Hobo Christmas party. This involved stew, a white elephant gift exchange, mad libs, and lots of alcohol. I ended up with a clock which is wonderful, as it was just last week when I was standing in my bathroom thinking "I need a clock in here, but I would hate to spend money on something PRACTICAL. Especially with the Project Runway Barbie coming out in January!" Good times.

It's so hard to go to the laundromat (which I need to do) when there's a True Life marathon on MTV. Right now it's the Jersey Shore girls!

Canned wine, True Life, what a life I lead!

The canned wine is nasty. Even if you drink more, it's still nasty.

Kinda tipsy on canned wine.

The Project Runway Barbie. Yes, I am totally willing to wait until January to get it.

Now if only someone would make an Austin Scarlett doll, my life would be complete.

For some reason I build up the static electricity like CRAZY. Seriously, I can't walk two feet without building up static. I try to ground myself when I think about it, but sometimes I don't and my ipod earbuds will shock the hell out of my ears. It's freaky. I mean, my coworkers can hear the static discharge from ten feet away. When I unlock my desk you can see a spark jump from the key to the lock.

If I could harness this static power I'd be a badass superhero.

So, at dinner last night Joe discovered his knife was magnetized. It was so bizarre, I've never seen such a thing. He tells me that if you strike steel hard enough or drop it or whatever it becomes magnetized. Why didn't I know this? I watched Mr Wizard all the time when I was a kid! Had I known this my childhood might have been more fun because I was a dork who liked to play with magnets.

So here is what I look like when I eat too much sugar and people give me I Love Jesus gifts and I'm listening to Eat This Hot Show.

I've got M&M (peanut and plain), some delicious peanut butter oatmeal things, chocolate and toffee covered pecans, and some home made chocolates. My boss gave me a clever fun fur scarf and another coworker gave me the hat (knit by her mom, and of course the first thing I want to do is take it apart and see how it's made) and ANOTHER coworker gave me a woodstock cherry lip balm.

ANd there's a potluck later. I brought Mac and Cheese.

Thank you all! I'm going to pass out now. Who's got the insulin?

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MR F

Curiosity got the better of me and I bought a four pack of Sofia sparkling wine in the can. Sofia Coppola makes such great movies I thought no way could a wine named after her be bad.

I was wrong.

Maybe it'll be better chilled a little more. Maybe it'll be better if I drink a little more. No. Maybe not.

So, it's not Alex Cross. I kind of liked it, but I will never understand how someone can be this dang prolific.

Labels: books

I look very pretty today. I just caught my own reflection and my cheeks and lips are the perfect shade of rosy, my hair looks good, and my freckles aren't as noticeable.

Yeah. I'm hot.

My hair is starting to feather. All i do is blow it dry without a brush and it naturally falls into wings. And suddenly I'm miss farrah fawcett from tv...

Labels: pictures

One year ago today I got smaller boobies.

So what apparently happened is on the fourth floor of the building we
were in (round wing) a welding torch set insulation on fire. We were
screening new employees and smelled the most horrible smell (at first we
thought it was the computer because it's old and let's face it, on its
last legs). The fire alarm went off and we were evacuated and told to
come back later this afternoon.

There's a fire in the hospital at the round wing.

I was a 36F. It was a warm day for December. I met Ginger and we headed to the zoo where the animals were active and fun. I believe this was the day the cougar meowed at us. I went bowling with Ginger and Andy joined us, but he had to leave early due to Monday Night Football and the traffic tie ups that would cause. I beat Ginger at bowling, click here for the proof. I talked to David C. right before I went to bed.

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Dear Ghostfinger,
I love you.
Can I have your babies?
XOXOXO
L.

Trailer full of pirates!

One obstacle standing in the way of putting up my I Love Jesus Tree is where to put this bike. The bike was a consolation prize (I won't be your boyfriend but I will promote your physical fitness--here's a bike!) and I've only ridden it twice. My ILJ Tree goes where my kitchen table currently sits and my kitchen table goes where my bike currently sits. There's not really a good place to put this bike other than where it is right now. I'm thinking about stringing it with lights and ornaments. I probably should give it back to the Boy Who Broke My Heart but that might involve having to see him which will simply not do.

I completely understand why businesses say "Happy Holidays." It's a very sort of catch all safe phrase. I work in a clinic that tries to decorate for ALL the December holidays which gets ridiculous. I say put up a snowman and say happy holidays. No.

Just so you know, Jesus is just all right with me so you can say "Merry Christmas" to me.

Tomorrow I have to put up my I Love Jesus Tree.

Ok, Starting to get a bit tired of the Alex Cross.

I worked the morning shift at the ole second job today. I found out that the kitchen usually brings delicious food to the girl who works the day shift. I was shocked! All they bring me are dwarf bottles of water. I can't complain, though, because the bottles ARE cute.

I learned that there aren't any poisonous snakes or spiders in Michigan, which sounds like a good way to live if you ask me. There are panthers, though.

There are actually birds in the bird house at the Nashville Zoo.

I hate wearing makeup. My sister did that thing drag queens do where they powder up their cleavage to make it look deeper. However, with DDs this is not as necessary. On a similar note, I can share bras with my sister. One year ago this was not possible. Yay for smaller boobies!

Enough liquor and everyone's a dancer.

Free booze plus a designated driver does not always equal fun drunken Leah. I almost crashed on the couch at the Richland Country Club. I've had a long week and it all of a sudden hit me at the Christmas party. I did discover the gimlet, which is my new drink of choice. Tom Collins, I want a divorce.

Labels: pictures

Labels: pictures

I'm so sleepy. You have no idea. It's a good kind of sleepy, but still sleepy. So what else am I going to do but go see the new Harry Potter film? Sure it'll be fun and all that, but I just know I'm going to fall asleep during. I fell asleep during the newest Star Wars and I fell asleep during Good Night, and Good Luck. Both were fine, it's just that on Fridays I get so sleep deprived. In college it was so bad that I'd fall asleep during the X-Files (this is back when X-Files was on Friday nights) only to wake up in time for T&A night (another Friday tradition).

And why does my ipod randomly stop responding? Does anyone else's do this???

Yes, I read a Christmas book. And I enjoyed it. My boss lent this to me because she knows I'm a Fannie Flagg fan. It was cute and a very quick read. I know this sort of thing isn't my style, but I enjoyed it anyway.

Labels: books

Buy your own Victory in Knoxville DVD! Apparently, Vanderbilt's football team beat UT. Ok, we get it. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

This morning I'm thinking about the Boy Who Broke My Heart. Of course, what else do I do these days? Lately it seems all of my friends, many of whom are mutual (well, let's be honest, more his friends than mine), keep telling me how I can do better, how he isn't good enough for me, how he's a drunk and he'll never ever be any good, how I need to get over him and move on because he's obviously over me, and so on. I think you understand...the things friends tell you when a relationship ends.

And I think back to a year ago. The same people telling me how great the BoyWBMH is, how he's got a great job, how he really really likes me, how I just need to make out with him, and so on. I think you understand...the things friends tell you when you start dating someone.

Funny how a year changes things.

What was I thinking, buying 3+ pounds of Frangos? Well, other than "YAY! Frangos are on sale!" In just a few months I'll be 300+ lbs. Seriously, right now I'm on the peanut butter fudge flavor (only one flavor at a time, thank you so much) which are amazing.

Dang.

So, did you read Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil? Ok...replace Savannah, Georgia with Venice, Italy. And replace the murder with the Fenice opera house burning down. Ok, now, don't get too attached to finding out more about the Fenice fire because it isn't as compelling as the murder was. In fact, by the end of the book you kind of think "Oh yeah, there WAS a fire at the beginning of this book, wasn't there?"

Listen, nobody catches local color quite like Berendt, but using the Fenice fire as the glue of this story doesn't really work that well.

And if you've read the book, then I shall direct you here.

Labels: books

I can't stand Modest Mouse.

I'm caught up on my podcasts so I'm now listening to recently purchased CDs. By recently purchased I mean in the last three months. Due to holidays and random iPod unresponsiveness I just haven't had the time. Mind you, I do not buy many CDs these days as most new music is just not my thing. I did buy some stuff at a used CD store and redeemed some credit card points on a few others. I mean, how long ago did Big Ass Truck call it quits? And I just recently bought "Who Let You In Here?"

I just finished listening to a Serge Gainsbourg compilation. Fantastic, I tell you!

Right now it's Modest Mouse which was one of the free with credit card points. Like I said, I don't listen to much new music but this one was free and I'd heard they were just FABULOUS and there really wasn't much else to choose from and I don't have the patience to save my points for a digital camera but ANYWAY. I can't decide if I like it or not, it isn't terribly offensive but I'm not blown away or anything. the first time I listen to a song I don't really pay attention to the lyrics, unless they're as phenomenonally bad as the lyrics of "My Hump."

I mean, lady lumps? Gross!

What a week. I'm working a ton, but I did find out I got a promotion and a raise! Exciting because this means in about two months I can quit my second job. That's a blessing and a curse, as it gives me time to read, but it also takes up so much of my time.

I'm almost out of credit card debt. ROCK.

I saw this story linked on Fark and thought it was a joke, but it's real:

Some megachurches are not having services on Christmas! And Christmas falls on a Sunday!

This bothers me for so many reasons. Ok, so they're having services the day before, and to that I say BFD--most churches have a Christmas Eve service regardless of the day of the week it falls on. They're saying they'll have low attendance, and to that I say BS. Unless there's soemthing I don't understand about how megachurches (which seem to be usually evangelical in nature) work.

I understand their argument that people want to spend the day with family, but why not spend the day with the birthday boy himself? And church is, what, about an hour? Two maybe, depending on your church? And a day has, what, twenty four hours? Let's say you go to a church that has a two hour service (which is overestimating, but it's Christmas), and we'll add in an hour for getting ready, getting there, and getting home. So that leaves twenty one hours. And let's say it's Sunday and you don't wake up until 8 (although those with kids may get up much earlier, as anticipation is a motherf-er for a kid). Ok, that's another eight hours which leaves us with thirteen hours. I'll allow five hours for cooking, that puts us at eight hours. And then there's sleep. We'll put everyone to bed at nine, which leaves us with FIVE HOURS OF FAMILY FUN! That's a whole lot of family fun, and I overestimated on a few things. After five hours with my family I'm ready put myself up for adoption and I LIKE my family (and I'm well beyond the cute, adoptable age).

I understand cancelling Sunday school but not the SERVICE ITSELF.

So I'll be going to church twice this weekend. And I have to work from 2-8, so my family fun will be very limited.

Last day in the Twin Cities! There was a lot to do today and it didn't look like I would be able to see the big Target downtown or the Mary Tyler Moore statue. However, I was not feeling very hungry so I skipped lunch at Panera and headed over to the downtown target. To the left is a picture of the cool escalator for carts. CARTS! You just wheel it on and meet it at the top!

To the left is the Mary Tyler Moore statue placed by TV Land. Brent was at the unveiling and they handed out tams to the audience to throw in the air. So I went to Marshall Field's. With just an hour before going to the airport I bought 3+ lbs of Frangos and a party dress. Hell yeah, I'm a badass efficient shopper! As it turns out, the Twin Cities are a little too cold for me. It's a neat place, though. Next time I hope to see Paisley Park, the Eck Center, and to purify myself in Lake Minnetonka.

Day 1
Day 2
Day 3

Labels: pictures

	This picture is a little misleading. I actually took in on Friday, the 2nd. How do I know? Because on Saturday the 3rd it was snowing like a bastard. At any rate, this is the view from Brent's. Today was an exciting day....I got to experience Minneapolis mass transit! And I was taking it to the Mall of America! We met Brent's family at Ikea and had lunch.
	Ikea is lovely, but I wasn't in the shopping mood for home decor and stuff I couldn't pack in my suitcase (yes, they ship, but I just wasn't in a decorating mood--hey, don't you judge me!). I walked through the snow over to the Mall to begin my shopping adventure. No tax on clothes! To the left you can see how pretty the snowflakes are, plus the added bonus of a tiny bit of my delicious decolletage. Unfortunately there wasn't much mall time. I only really got through three and a half floors and did not get to go to Camp Snoopy this time. I did buy an outfit at H&M and crazy pants at Urban Outfitters.
	Next up was Miss Richfield 1981 and the Hot Dish party. We didn't bring a dish to pass but luckily the Esther Circle had plenty of food.
	Here we are with Miss R. She thought Brent and I were a couple so she's pushing me out of the picture. It was a hilarious show. In her song, the 12 Christmas Trailers, Steph and I got to be 1/2 of the 4 Calling Girls.
	Here are the crazy Urban Outfitters pants. Independent of each other, Stephanie and I bought the same pants. They were on sale!

Day 1
Day 2

Day 4

Labels: pictures

	Friday was graduation day. Apparently I talked in my sleep the night before. Brent made fresh banana bread which was amazing. For lunch we had a lovely meal at Chipotle. Listen, we need a Chipotle here. preferably not near my house or else I'll gain a lot of weight back. Anyway, after lunch we headed to the U of M campus where Brent got ready for graduation and I saved seats for his family. To the left one of the indistinguishable figures is Brent getting hooded. I thought it was pretty bizarre that the Master's folks walked up all hooded, and some folks wore no robe or hood. Also, some folks were in tams, some in maroon robes. There was no rhyme nor reason to it, except Brent said that the maroon robes could not be rented and cost a lot of money.
	Brent and Stephanie
	Brent's hood
	Part of the massive U of M campus. After graduation we went to Brent's workplace and met some of his co-workers.
	For dinner we ate at the Loring Pasta Bar. The first floor used to be a drug store, the second floor had some connection to Bob Dylan. They gutted the place and opened this fabulous restaurant. The bathroom was sort of weird, you can see it to the left. The walls did not go all the way up! You could sit on the toilet and hear dinner conversations! At any rate, Brent's friends are nice and the meal was fantastic. After dinner we headed back to Brent's for chocolate bundt cake and sherry. It was then I learned that I am not a sherry fan. I suggested port.
	Next we went to see Dixie Cups and Lil Darlings at Jitters. Jitters was cool, except they had a drink called the Kentuckytini. It included Jack Daniel's which is made in Tennessee. This was a minor complaint, so I kept my mouth shut and enjoyed the show and the tini. It was tart and STRONG. I suppose they mix their drinks strong because it makes you notice the cold weather less.
	I had to get a picture with Dixie Cups.

Day 1

Day 3
Day 4

Labels: pictures

I was picked up by the Waldens and was wisked away to the airport. Our landing was delayed due to snow. I rode along with the Waldens to the Doubletree downtown. They were nice enough to share cookies with me, but later that evening I bought my own.

We had dinner at a British pub called Brit's (what else?). While waiting for our table we watched a bit of the Holidazzle parade (which you can see to the left--but remember my camera sucks when the flash isn't on, and sucks at night when the flash is on). It was very pretty, but the parade obeys all traffic signals. Very polite, but very bad when it's as cold as it is in Minneapolis in December.

After dinner we headed back to Brent's where I fell asleep and he baked a cake. Also, he was nice neough to have a fire, but the damper wasn't closed when the fire was done so I froze there on the fancy air mattress.

Day 2
Day 3
Day 4

Labels: pictures

Last night was another crafty night. It was at Janelle's house, and her kitten Pierre Dubee was in kitten heaven. cute, squeaky little guy! Unfortunately I was late to the crafty festivities due to falling asleep. The twin cities took it out of me.

I did start on my skull and crossbones purse. I haven't gotten too far into it but it is coming along pretty fast.

there have never been pants as good as these are.

Seriously. I think they were $20 last spring. They're Express Luxe Sateen Editor pants. they attract lint n stuff but they're so damn comfortable. seriously.

Rockin pants.

Here we are with Miss Richfield 1981. Hilarious. She thought that Brent and I were a couple so she's pushing me out of the picture.

Labels: pictures

I love the Twin Cities. I do. BUT I am very glad to be home. Pictures to come later. Today's highlights included the last of the banana bread, the Mary Tyler Moore statue, 3+ lbs of Frangos in assorted limited edition flavors, and FINALLY finding a dress for the Christmas (Holiday?) party. Last night was the wonderful Miss Richfield 1981, picture to come tomorrow. Anyone want to go see her at PLAY on New Year's Eve? Steph and I got to be half of the four Calling Girls in the 12 Christmas Trailers.

Labels: pictures

Brent is a doctor now!

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Waiting for miss richfield

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So in just a few minutes we're going to drive our fancy selves to the light rail station and take said light rail to the Mall of America. YAY! The last time I shopped there my options were limited, this time I've got more options. Finally I get to see an IKEA. I sound like such a damn country mouse.

I'm thinking I'm going to buy some deep fried cheese curd. That would be delicious.

So Aubrey suggests we go to Jitters. As a tourist in the lovely Twin Cities I'm up for anything. I did not expect Dixie Cups and the Lil Darlings. That's me with Dixie. They played some country and pop hits, and if you stripped away the accordion and the irony you'd have any given house band at some dive bar in Nashville. They didn't have PBR tallboys but they DID have PBR on tap. Also of note: their martini menu featured a Kentuckytini that included Jack Daniels. Which is made in Tennessee. I wanted to correct this but did not. This led to a discussion of the differences between KY and TN.

And also it's very cold here.

Labels: pictures

Dixie Cups and the Lil Darlings

Labels: pictures

So, two nights ago I have a dream that I'm explaining to someone who Howard Hughes is. I was talking about the Landmark hotel in Las Vegas and how Hughes owned it and spent the last of his crazy life there. Anyway, the person in my dream (I think it was a female) didn't know who Howard Hughes was, so I had to explain it all. Didn't Hughes get credit for inventing the underwire bra? I think he did...

And last night I had a dream that it was New Year's Eve aned at the stroke of midnight I started crying. There's a reason for this that I won't go into right now (and probably the reason I will be at home this NYE). So my sister's trying to comfort me and we end up shopping for groceries with the wrestler Triple H, who was harassing me.

Both were super vivid and bizarre.

It's cold in minnesota

Labels: pictures

On the plane I looked out the window and saw nothing but white on the ground and thought "what the hell am I getting myself into?" Yes, it's cold, but it's also a neat place. And i got some Doubletree cookies! We saw a tiny bit of the Holidazzle and had some british pub food. Tomorrow is Dr Brent's graduation and Saturday is shopping. ROCK.

And thank the heavenly father I bought some nice leather cashmere lined gloves before I left. My old navy fleece gloves would not have cut it.

Oh, and I'm freezing my ass off. Literally. As in my winter coat is short, which is fine for Nashville, but here I will catch a cold wind up my coat which makes my ass cold.

Last night I went to a speed dating event as a favor for a friend. It was something else, that's for sure. It was a fun way to meet people, but not so much my thing. Still not sure I'm ready to get out and date. Actually, I'm pretty positive I'm not.