Please take a moment to read this story in the St Paul Pioneer Press and then come right back.

This makes me so mad. So, your kid reaches in to pet a meerkat and so instead of having your child vaccinated (even though the meerkats were most likely clean) you opt to have the entire family euthanized?

Meerkats are cute but they are nothing to mess with. They fucking eat SCORPIONS for crying in the dark. Scorpions! They do not play, people. They're cute and tough as old boots.

And it's not just children. You know, I have a real problem with unleashed dogs in urban and semiurban areas. I'm really not concerned with how small your dog is or how well behaved you believe your dog is, put the motherfuckers on leashes. My dog is a dream off leash, but every now and then he gets a little overexcited and takes off to love on the nearest child. My dog is big and looks somewhat menacing but he wouldn't purposefully hurt anyone. There have been many times in my neighborhood that my dog refuses to do his dog business because some inconsiderate dog owner has her (and yes, it always seems to be a woman in this case) dog(s) out running free. My dog wants to play. Your dog wants to play. So my sixty pound sweetie starts pulling at his leash and your dogs start running over and soon I'm annoyed, you're screaming in your shrill, high pitched angry mom voice (which really is ineffective, dogs respond to deep, commanding voices, and your shrieking gives me flashbacks to my semi-abusive, anger-mismanaged first grade teacher) and your dogs are terrorizing my dog.

Dogs are like people with Asperger's--no matter how smart they are they may have problems socially. Keep them restrained in public areas, please.

Kids too, while you're at it.