I stopped by Target earlier and bought a loaf of white bread in anticipation of medicating Denny. I also bought jeans and work pants but that's neither here nor there. I don't want to get comfortable with this extra weight.

We're not here to talk about my gut (which I have named Prince, there's a reason for that but not right now).

So I go pick up Denny from the vet's and I'm given four separate prescriptions. FOUR. Two pills twice a day (wrapped in bread, of course), one pain pill once a day (it's meat flavored!), and an ointment to, ahem, apply. I've got this old comforter that's pretty much been dogified so I dubbed this as the ass blanket. We head home and denny is so, so stoned. There's also other stuff I won't mention because it's gross, all I will say that if you've ever had an abcess lanced you know what I mean. Gross.

We get home and my dad is there to meet me with old towels for his kennel. I'm so glad he was there when I got home because it helped me get the ass blanket and the bread into the house. Of course, the first thing denny does is scoot a couple of inches on the carpet. Gross. So dad takes him outside while I clean up the spot and lay out the ass blanket. So I get Denny to sit on an old towel (the ass pad) and bring him his friend Crazy Hedgehog and he promptly falls asleep. OH! before this I give him a Greenie. He manages to eat it, and why not? It's his very favorite in the whole world. Ok, so back to where we were--Crazy Hedgehog, asleep, etc.

He attempts to get up and greet my mom when she stops by. She brings doggie underpants and latex gloves. Now, the doggie underpants are a good idea except they're for girl dogs in heat and have, if you can believe this, little ruffles around the tail hole. Now it's not humiliating enough for him to have his ass shaved a bit and then get confined to something called the "ass blanket" but I'm not sure I can put the undies on him. Poor guy.

He's been pretty good about keeping his rear on the ass pad, but then he's a good boy. He doesn't like it when I try to move his rump to check the drainage but who would?

He drank a little water, and just a minute ago I gave him his meds and put him in his kennel for the night. Before you get uppity I would like you to know that Denny was kennel trained so he has no problem with it. In fact, I keep it in my craft room and when I go in there he usually follows me in the room and makes a quick trip into the kennel just to show me what a brave little man he is. I would also like to say that this kennel training has made my dog mostly accident free, I could count on one hand the number of accidents he's had in the last six years, and most of those times were submissive urination when he was getting used to Flashy.

He also went poo, I think it was kind of painful for him. It also smelled so, so bad.

He's got food, water, and Crazy Hedgehog in the kennel with him, and I heard him drinking water just a minute ago.

Anyway, dude on House is getting an MRI, but HE'S not wearing earplugs or foam blocks by his ears, and he's also not wearing that crazy cage over his face.

Labels: denny, drama